Back in the Saddle

I have been "kindly" and "gently" reminded by many of you that you've noticed I've been a bit M.I.A. from this here neglected blog.  It's true; but I can explain... Mostly, the onset of spring quarter in March marked the beginning of ten weeks of madness, and with it a busy class schedule, a move, and the beginning of practicum.  Since then, I've been even busier settling into my new little home and my new role as an actual therapist, soaking up sun if and when I can find it, and finding my place in this field as I become increasingly interested in working with women who are struggling with eating disorders.  And quite frankly, once I got out of the routine of blogging, with everything else going on I didn't really miss it!  But now I'm settled into this new chapter and right smack in the middle of a two week intensive for summer school and writing for fun has always served me well as a form of procrastination when I otherwise ought to be writing a paper for school (due tomorrow... zero pages written as of 9:42 p.m.)  So, I'm back.  And though I'm not making any promises of daily postings or anything like that, the ice has been broken.  It has no longer been six months since my last post - which definitely makes it easier to get started again.

So for my first post back, I've copied below an Irish blessing for work that I hold near and dear to my heart.  A professor that I love shared it with me a couple of years ago and I've recently re-fallen in love with it.  I've copied it down and posted it in a a visible place in my little home and honestly I read it every morning.  This is my prayer for myself in this career and as I read these words each morning I let them sink into my soul and guide the way that I go about my day at work or at school.  They echo my own heart and capture more eloquently than I could ever hope to exactly who and how I hope to be in this job.

An Irish Blessing for Work

May the light of your soul guide you. 

May the light of your soul bless the work that you do 

with the secret love and warmth of your heart. 

May you see in what you do the beauty of your own soul. 

May the sacredness of your work bring healing, light 

and renewal to those who work with you 

and to those who see and receive your work. 

May your work never weary you. 

May it release within you wellsprings of 

refreshment, inspiration and excitement. 

May you be present in what you do. 

May you never become lost in bland absences. 

May the day never burden. 

May dawn find you awake and alert, 

approaching your new day with dreams, possibilities and promises. 

May evening find you gracious and fulfilled. 

May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected. 

May your soul calm, console and renew you.

found here

It's Always Something

I'm realizing, as I settle into life as a young adult that when it comes to productivity and discipline there will almost always, at any given moment, be something that sounds better to me than what I am actually "supposed" to or hoping to be doing.  Whether it's homework, exercising, filing at work, praying, trusting in God's better plan, waking up early, saving money, grocery shopping, allowing space for some closure, being bold, going for what I really want, writing, getting an oil change...I'm really best at finding something else to do first.  On some days, this is just me, being a "P" (my Myers Briggs personality profile) and proving that I'd rather put someone else's needs before mine and that I do my finest work in the eleventh hour.  A lot of the time though, I am in fact procrastinating; sometimes out of boredom I suppose, but most of the time I procrastinate from a place that is rooted more in fear and avoidance.

I have a tendency toward setting lofty, big picture goals for myself-what I will achieve or the kind of person I hope to be.  I am good at dreaming and hoping and waiting, but less than great at making the small day-to-day choices required for actually getting there. 

I subscribe to a really wonderful daily email that offers a reflection from Henri Nouwen each morning (which you, too, can do here).  Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of the lenten season.  I kind of love lent because done right it is so dang challenging but oh so sweet and worth it.  It is about discipline and waiting.  In lent we practice drawing near to Him, waiting patiently, seeking peace, and living intentionally and in anticipation of Easter.  I love the simplicity of this prayer and the honest humility of these words.  I so often find myself divided, and neglecting for a myriad of reasons to make the choices-big or small-that lead to a life lived on the narrow road of faith and courage.  I am choosing to live intentionally this season which, essentially, means choosing to make choices.  Choices in my words, my thoughts, my actions, my time, my perspective.  First choice, to join with wise ol' Henri in making this my prayer for the lenten season too.

A Lenten Prayer
An excerpt from The Road to Daybreak, Henri J. M. Nouwen

The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.


I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.

I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.


Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.


Amen.