All I Want for Christmas Is You...

I don't know if you knew this about me, but I'm not married. Not even close.

Surprisingly, this fact about me is one that people like to interrogate me about during the holiday season. And I'm not alone in this, single young people everywhere live in a defensive state at holiday parties, dodging the questions related to this topic. Although it's hard to imagine in what universe the question "why aren't you married yet?" could be asked with anything less than malicious intent, it still gets asked, time and time again. Generally followed with an honest and well-intentioned "but I just don't understand!" I usually smile and shrug while silently thinking "Me neither lady, I'm a catch. But you're not helping right now." And to those of us that are at the ripe old age of 24, too old to still be single seems a bit of a stretch.

Anyways. The holidays less than discreetly remind me of this fact, questions from friends and relatives aside. I am not married. Nor am I in a relationship leading to such a union. I am oh-so-(begrudgingly)-single.

So at this point in this post, I'm sure you're all just on the edge of your seats waiting to find out if I'm going to spill who it is that I, in fact, want for Christmas. No, No. I don't give that kind of information up so easily. (part of the problem? maybe. willing to open that can of worms at this moment? no way jose.)

All I want for Christmas is you, French Blue KitchenAid Artisan Stand Mixer. Now, I am aware that to many of you, the connection between my current status as a Miss rather than a Mrs. has little if anything to do with my Christmas wish for a mixer. But it does.

You see, my mother hates shopping. Like, more than hates it. She probably abhors it, or some other strong synonym for hate. She always has. It's like torture for her, a punishment of some kind. Upon finding this out, many people wonder where in the world I came from. I just assume that I like it enough to compensate for the both of us. I love it. I wanna marry shopping. So, every year, as long as I can remember, I've come up with what I want for Christmas and pointed Sue in the right direction. This works for both of us, since I am a relatively picky person, embarrassingly known to be a bit of a returner; and she can then just run in and out of the specific store she needs to at the least busy time possible to grab what she needs. It's even gone so far as the handing over of the credit card for me to shop for Mom, Dad, brothers, and myself. Fun for me, and such a relief to her that everybody wins.

So a few of weeks ago I was thinking about Christmas and gave Sue a call.

Me: "Hey mom, so, you know how I'm not married?"
Mom: "Yes, Maggie. I do know that about you..."
Me: "Well, I've been thinking about Christmas."
Mom: "Ummm...Okay..."
Me: "I want a KitchenAid mixer. And since I'm not married and can't register for one, I want one for Christmas. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I should also be denied the pleasure of making cookies and bread and mashed potatoes..."
Mom: "Oh Yeah? We'll see."

***(I wanted one a couple of years ago, and she told me that's the kind of thing, like nice pots and pans, matching dishes, silverware that doesn't bend, etc. that you wait to buy until you get married so you can register for it.)

2 weeks later, a voicemail from Sue: "Hey Mags, It's mom. Listen, I'm at Old Orchard, and I just hate hate hate shopping. I'm not doing it this year. At all. Kyle wants a trip to Colorado and needs a new ski jacket, so that's what he's getting. Dad can just buy himself some stuff from Home Depot like he does every year anyway, and why don't you just go to Williams Sonoma and buy yourself that KitchenAid and we'll just be done with it, okay?"

So, Christmas came early this year. I walked right in there yesterday afternoon and bought her. And she's a beauty. While I'm still attempting to cook with crappy pots and pans and serving dinner to guests on dishes that came from someone's garage and don't match one another let alone the decor of our kitchen, and sometimes I bend the spoon into a right angle while dishing out ice cream, there she is in all her glory, reminding me that single girls can still bake cookies without getting arm cramps. Who knows. Maybe some fresh baked cookies mixed to perfection will be the keys to someone's heart.