Return to Me

I'm still alive.

Adam, I guess this one's for you. Your gentle nudging about how I spend too much time playing Word Twist apparently struck a nerve, because here I am attempting to get back into a rhythm of writing. PS update your own blog, hypocrite :) and also, I kind of need a break from Word Twist because Micah keeps kicking my ass and it's a repeated blow to my self esteem every time... For those of you who don't know, Word Twist is a highly addictive game that is played through facebook. Basically you compete against your friends, and, for points, you have two minutes to create as many words as you can with the 6 letters you have been given. I generally feel pretty smart when I play the game, except when I play against Micah. Then I always finish the round feeling like I'm just not quite as smart as he is, which is true, but still unnerving. I do, however, keep going back for more-in hopes that the next round will bring the satisfaction of taking down Jon and Micah and Becky with my vast knowledge of obscure three and four letter words. I digress.

Yes, Word Twist has been sucking up a lot of my time. So has school, commuting, cleaning my perpetually dusty house, keeping up with friends, and finding time to sleep and to feed, clothe, and bathe myself- while remaining up to date on the tv shows I follow. I've been amazingly busy keeping the schedule I'm currently keeping while still making an effort to hang out with friends that mean so much to me as if I don't basically live in Pasadena part time. Lest you believe I am complaining, I am not. I don't see how a thing on that list could possibly be shrunken down smaller than it already must be. Knowing this, I continue to make it work with as much joy as I can find in this beautiful albeit sometimes maddening life that I get to live, expending a significant amount of energy in just convincing myself that I don't need to do everything perfectly, so long as the things that matter and the things that have to get done do get done, on time and well.

You get it. I'm pretty busy. Very busy. So, Adam (and if there is anyone else kind enough to keep checking back to see if I will ever return to my beloved blog...) I could hide behind the excuse that I am just plain too busy to update my blog. It's partly true, so I wouldn't feel like I was totally lying. But honestly, there have been a lot of thoughts, big questions, fears, dreams, plans, and everything in between clouding my heart and mind. And when I am not totally focusing on school or work or a friend I become overwhelmed by the weight of these things. Instead of processing by talking or writing or even really praying about this stuff, I've been sleeping. And watching HGTV. Pretty much just avoiding.

I don't want to be an avoider. And I like writing. So, hopefully, I will add keeping my blog updated back to the list of things that fill my days.