Hope and Renewal

This morning I went to the Westmont chapel service of Hope and Renewal, celebrating the first day back to school after the Tea Fires. It was a beautiful service, full of humility, gratitude, and wisdom, and I am so glad that I made the time to go.

I loved being back in chapel and on campus at Westmont. I was admittedly quite a joiner during my years as a student there. I rarely missed chapel, spent too long at every meal in the D.C., went to every home soccer game... so, for me, it was nice to be back. Walking on campus and into the gym, thankful that it was all saved from what could have been devastating fire damage, I had one of those moments where I was transported nostalgically into a moment where my soul was joyful and at rest. Time stood still for a second and I felt full and safe, solid, rooted; connected to the past, present, and future best versions of myself.

As I was listening to Ben Patterson speak, it was like coming home. I guess, in a sense, returning to Westmont is coming home, as it was my home for four years; but gathering with that community, singing together and listening to Ben's voice is familiar and comforting. His prayers are prayers that I feel and know after so many years. Sitting on those familiar bleachers in my gym-which had become my sanctuary, the place where God more often than not met me right where I was, was a good feeling. A feeling I was at some point used to, but recently have not been able to replicate elsewhere.

The basic gist of his message, and of the service (which you can download and listen to here), was of how we as Christians are at times to be in grief and hard times; a point which comes hand in hand with the Biblical desire for us to find hope in all circumstances. As Christians, we are not to be stoics. We are to remember that we are all called, at times, to grieve. Sometimes, life is just plain hard. But Ben also reminded us that "our faith is not a designer drug that lifts us up out of the mess of life. Rather our faith gives us courage to live in the mess." And sometimes, I dare say, I make a bit of a mess for myself. And more often than not, I find the courage to live in that mess to be somewhat lacking.

So courage has been on my mind and on my heart recently. Sometimes, I have plenty of it. But there are times, more often than I'd like to admit, that courage is something I can't find, and something that I want. I want to, as Dr. Spencer would say to us in rhetoric "live boldly." I think those ideas are woven together for me. I'm rarely lacking for the hope part, but I'm still working on living and moving forward with courage, with boldness, and with gumption. But I've been reminded a lot these days of how beautiful it is when we do- when we move forward in faith, trusting and leaning into God's best plan for us.