Saturday was the breakdown. I think I've had it coming.
I'm not going into all the details of what broke me, just that I've spent the last few days broken.
But there's so much beauty in that place. More often than not, crying and brokenness result in comfort and a reassembly of the pieces, better than they were before.
Last night as my professor was praying for us before class, a tear that I didn't even know I had left escaped from my eye.
"Lord, we are fragile. We know You hold our lives in Your capable hands. But sometimes we think we'd rather take them back; and in doing so, often we break. Pick up the pieces of our scattered lives, comfort us, keep us, hold us, and help us to rest in Your faithful and guiding hands."
That's all, really. I'm kind of hurting and sad, and I'm pretty confused and frustrated, but I'm also oh so grateful. There is beauty in the breakdown, if you're willing to see it.
3 comments:
thanks mags.
p.s. you are fantastic.
You are not alone in having breakdowns. Fortunately, God sees them all so he has lots of experience. I like that breakdowns makes us run back to him. Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable. It reminds me that we're all doing this life thing...and its hard sometimes.
When I was studying abroad in Sri Lanka (with one Kacey Zundel, but that is besides the point), Dr. J onced prayed something along these lines that has always stuck with me: "Lord you write out our stories, and you can write them straight, even on the crooked lines of our hearts." I think back to that prayer whenever my lines feel especially crooked.
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